Black Swan
Yes, it was a recent movie but to me it was a depiction of deep symbolism that I closely related to.
The black swan and the swan princess were the two main characters in the movie that each carried their own heavy symbolism. There are many ways that these characters can be viewed and this is just my interpretation of them and how it applies to my life.
The Swan Princess: This role was played by Natalie Portman as an innocent, sheltered girl who was naive and waited for things to come to her instead of chasing after them. She had hope that one day her prince would see her for her beauty and elegance and fall for her just as she imagined.
The Black Swan: Played by Mila Kunis who depicted a bold, cunning, and seductive girl who knew exactly how to get what she wanted. Her character was the corrupted version of the swan princess and it represented darkness and defense. She chased after the prince in hopes that he would fall into her seductive lure, but she wasnt looking for love, just another way to get the things she wanted from life.
If you saw the movie, you realize at the end that Natalie Portman obliviously turns herself into the black swan. She beats herself up so much over not being as fast and cunning as the black swan that she tries to compete with her to such an extent that she ends up destroying herself in the process .
In the beginning of the movie Natalie Portman starts off as an innocent swan princess, but as the plot progresses, what she doesnt realize is that she has two roads that she can take. There is the road that allows her to remain the swan princess or the road that transfroms her into the black swan.
She unknowingly takes the road of the black swan and slowly takes the shape of it as she treads down its path.
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I feel like I can relate to both characters in my own ways, but I originally see myself as the swan princess version of Natalie Portman. Yet I still cannot deny the feeling that I have potential to be the black swan as well.
Like I mentioned above, she chose between two different paths and she unfortunately took the darker one.
I feel like I am in a similar place at this point in my life. I am standing before a fork in the road, one path leads to success and happiness and the other leads to darkness and disappointment.
You would think that the choice is simple, but sometimes its hard to fight the feeling that I am destined for the darker path in life.
Most of the characteristics I saw in the swan princess are characteristics that I have always felt in myself, hope, compassion, love. But I am at a critical point in my life where I feel like I am drastically changing and maybe taking on the characteristics of the black swan, loneliness, defense, and no real purpose in life.
But the black swan is so much more than a corrupted girl, shes so much deeper than that. This is a girl who has truly been hurt. Someone who has been heart broken and feels abused at times. She is someone whose circumstances have taught her to trust no one and only depend on herself. I feel like the black swan was at some point also a swan princess, but she took the darker path and pretty much just gave up on everything around her instead of overcoming the obstacles that the brighter path laid upon.
And so we are back to square one, which path am I destined to take? Because I seriously have potential to take either one.
There are days where things work out for me or I just feel extremely blessed and I feel like I am destined for the brighter path in life and there are days where I feel like there is not a single soul on this earth that I can trust and I am destined for the path that leads me to become a black swan.
What I find really ironic is that there are two people in my life that I can fit into both of these categories. I have two cousins, and both of the are two of the most beautiful women that I have ever met in my entire life. I pale in comparison to their beauty. They are both older than me and therefore both have made decisions on how they want to live their life.
One of them reminds me of the swan princess. She has this incredibly innocent beauty, such a pretty face, and charming smile. She found her “prince” in college and he is just an incredible husband who keeps her beyond happy. Her family and in-laws adore her. My family has often told me I look and act like her, inside I have always hoped that we not only share our looks but the same destiny as well.
My other cousin is drop dead gorgeous, Her beauty is the kind where its really hard not to stop and stare. Her green eyes are a sea of beauty that anyone can get lost in. However she lives in an apartment all alone in the city far away from both of her parents. She comes from a broken family and is not on speaking terms with her dad. I feel like the divorce of her parents has led her to not trust anyone to such an extent that she might have lost hope in finding the right man. She is not fond of family because she feels that they have hurt her and considers her “friends” (who i dont think are a good influence on her) her family. If you compare her childhood pictures to mine, you wouldnt be able to tell the difference between us. Although I grew, and at some point stopped looking like her, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and see a slight hint of her in me.
I think its pretty evident how I am comparing these two to the swan and black swan, and just as I am torn between the two swans, I get confused as to who I am more like between these two cousins of mine.
I feel that I am originally like the innocent one in terms of personality and values, but because I too come from broken family and have my moments where I dont trust anyone (not even family at times) I feel like I have potential to end up like my cousin who lives meaninglessly by herself without a real purpose in life.
Anyway those were some thoughts I had been keeping bottled up for a long time. I pray that I dont become any sort of “black swan” no matter how much I feel it inside of me.
I am thankful that I have a such beautiful religion that keeps me going, and I know that god has plan for me. Even though I have no idea what it is right now.
