Letting go of Everything I have ever held on to.
2010 was pretty rough on me. It brought me to a lot of realizations that life definitely was not going as I had planned. I feel like I was in better control of my future when I was in high school and all my dreams seemed like they were within an arm’s length.
Even though in reality they really weren’t. The only difference then was that I was sheltered by a this dream world, where everything was mapped out for me and my biggest issue was being able to tell the boy I had fallen for how I felt about him.
But today, even that feels like an easy feat.
The semester ended a few weeks ago, and once again not like I wish it would have. But I am not going to complain.
I am thankful for what ever god has destined to be my life and I am ok with it just knowing that all this has been pre planned by him. The concept of destiny gets me through my worst days.
My break has been going well, no school, no job but I have been taking a lot of home ec courses taught by no other than my mom.
Honestly I was a little afraid of us spending all this time together but I have been having more fun and have been more at peace than anything with her teaching me how to run a household.
Been spending a lot of time with the extended family as well since my uncle came to visit from London. It always bring our family together so much more than usual and lately I have had so much fun spoiling his adorbale five year old.
I have been really happy lately, but at the same time walking around with this weight in my heart.
This winter break I have had time to do a lot of reflecting and this year came to a close I had a sudden realization that I was not the person I had planned on becoming as I graduated from high school.
And honestly, I am so sick of constantly striving to be that person.
